|Something funny about hydras ...
||[Nov. 13th, 2004|04:08 am]
\Hy"dra\, n.; pl. E. Hydras, L. Hydr[ae]. [L. hydra, Gr. "y`dra; akin to "y`dwr water. See Otter the animal, Water.] 1. (Class. Myth.) A serpent or monster in the lake or marsh of Lerna, in the Peloponnesus, represented as having many heads, one of which, when cut off, was immediately succeeded by two others, unless the wound was cauterized. It was slain by Hercules. Hence, a terrible monster.|
Greeks were such a sucker for symbolism. I swear. A conglomeration of parties that when assaulted, retaliates by growing even more possibilities of assault. Does that sound like any number of people you've ever been exposed to?
I was once privy to this beast and let me tell you, it's quite the story. We used to be friends you see. Well, not with ALL of the heads. Wasn't a big fan of the "devout christian" head and the "Pay attention to me constantly head"? forget about it but you see, to have conversations with the other heads, I had to kind of accept the others you see. For the sake of conversation, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make on my character, as to not cause any wounds.
It's not so much that I disliked them but they weren't the easiest to get along with. "Reason" and "Logic" had quite a few good points back in the day, even with it's laced christianity but nothing lasts forever I'm told.
The whole body started acting against me to my surprise. So I did what any stalwart warrior would do. I pulled out my blade of objectivity to trim the beast down to size, thinking it would act as a cauter but I don't think I could have been prepared for what happened.
The beast snarled at me, whipped it's tail around and knocked me unconcious. When I came to, the head that I had severed was still gone. However, the heads had started attacking each other, ripping their necks open one by one. Truly a gruesome sight, seeing "Reason" turn into "Fundamentalism" and "Delusion", "Compassion" turn into "Cruelty" and "Irrationality"
At this point, I started to laugh. The hydra then assumed I was mocking it's new found union and ran off. I still hear news stories about it's rampaging every now and then. Is their whole course of action led by my swift blow? The letters from it sure seem to think so.
I hear that even to this day, they tear each other to shreds, fooling others into attacking them sometimes when they're bored to add to it's already staggering amount of cakeholes but really, when you guys go to the hell you so desperately long to steer clear of, the fire (because fire does exist in hell but man, they need ALOT of oxygen tanks) is going to do a number to all those heads you've accrued and then what?
p.s. If any hydras are offended by this, I'm really sorry you guys, I mean, you're fucking hydras for christ sake! Most hydras have lj's anyways so just whine and mock it there. Oh and for the cyclops, you shut your damn mouth holes or I'm tar poling your fucking eye.